FaceBreaker Review
An hour “boxing” session with FaceBreaker left a familiarly bitter aftertaste in my mouth. I was instantly reminded of Puzzle Quest. FaceBreaker is very much like Puzzle Quest. They both feature very pretty colours, they’re both relatively simple games, making them very easy to get into; a player will find himself wanting one more match after a failed round, but will only find himself frustrated, because both games require little to no skill at all. And while we gamers do enjoy a good challenge, a game should require some level of skill; otherwise it’s just gambling.
The game’s control system is fairly simple. Punches, Throws, and Blocks are mapped to buttons, holding a punch button before releasing a punch changes it from a quick jab to a heavy swing, where holding the block puts the player in a ready state to dodge. The aim of the game is to know when to dodge or when to hit hard or quick. It’s a basic rock-paper-scissors system of play. But something is very frustrating about the pacing and control mechanic of FaceBreaker.
While most fighter novices have a tendency to button mash on their first few attempts at more complex fighters like Street Fighter, Tekken, or Soul Calibur, they hardly stand a chance against veteran fighters. I believe it’s here that FaceBreaker just might find its niche in the fighter market. Most matches dissolve into a guessing game of high, low, slow, fast, or throw; which is really in all fighting games, but this tends to be a foundation with more built upon it, rather than the entirety of the game itself.
If you listen to the podcast, you’ll know expectations for me were high. I‘m a huge fan of the Fight Night series, and was certainly looking forward to a caricaturized iteration of the EA Sports’ acclaimed boxing title. I was even half expecting an homage to Super Punch Out, from which FaceBreaker’s inspiration is obviously drawn. But it’s clear now that the inspiration stops at the game’s visuals, and even then, the visuals are terribly bland.
Sure, the graphics are vibrant and colourful, and so very cartoony, but even in that regard, there’s a blandness about them. I can only look at the same round girl so many times. Great, her boobs are falling out of her robe. Great, we check out her ass as she walks by the camera. Great, it’s cute that she’s incredibly stupid because she manages to hold her sign upside every other round. But I want to see a DIFFERENT round girl! I don’t want to create a unique character, only to have to choose from body types whose only options are muscle, more muscle, and most muscle; and, even worse, have my character adopt the voice of the body type’s character in the game. Don’t get me wrong, the game is definitely a complete game. But there are so many cut corners here that paying full price for this FaceBreaker just wouldn’t feel right.
